I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
