um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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