I can tuck mytits in my pants
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
