how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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