Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
