We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
