what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My pussy is not your playground.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize