ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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