And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
