fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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