I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
