I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
barbara walters just said penis...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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