absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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