i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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