I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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