and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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