I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
