Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
