My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
