Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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