The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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