I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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