i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
