Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
