am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
