yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
