You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
