I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize