he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
