Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
