Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
