Tell her she can't have a vagina
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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