so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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