plz talk dirty to me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
