how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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