He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
