And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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