I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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