Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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