This girl is more easily done than said...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
