I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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