i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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