Can Purell be used as lube?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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