Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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