My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
