Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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