It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Mom said you looked used
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
