I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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