never play flip cup with pint glasses
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
