I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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