That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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