i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
