Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
