i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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