you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
