youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
