Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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