He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
