Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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