I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize