dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
