I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We are all done wearing pants today
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
