The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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