u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
